Selling One's life to the Sea & the Price of Buying it back - A Sailor's Self Talk

When one remains at sea for long time, he loses his contacts, his qualities to deal with people, expansion of his view of the world. He serves for months at time on ship and goes back on leave for short duration.

He earns good salary and is able to provide better living conditions for the one’s he cares about. A seaman’s own life do not get benefits of luxuries within his buying power, he instead works like a machine – neglected , in many cases and dealt as a money making machine. Over time the seafarer forgets himself and points his planning towards others only.

I was sold to sea in the beginning of youth but it is satisfying enough to feel that I have bought myself back from the sea and the ships and I am now among many common people, average people, who live with their families and worry about their day to day needs. Who see children grow and are part of their families instead of being a guest who arrives 'home' after six months, introduces himself to children and waits for kids to get used to him to enjoy their company.

There is no free lunch. There is a price for either end of the coin: one has to let go the benefits of career at sea and lose a lot in gaining what life on shore has available. The decision is difficult and depends upon ones commitments and responsibilities. A desire to live the way majority leads their life: good or bad, rich or poor, deprived or fulfilled is vital.

Life on shore is busy and demanding too, but end of the day one is home and free. I am able to walk around when I am off and see others around - new people and new faces –it is worth my decision to come ashore though shore does not pay me much as compared to ships.

Ship job provides the most important financial independence but buys a seaman’s life in return.

At last I am on shore and not at sea any more!

There is no more pitching, rolling and shipboard tensions, no facing of behaviors from others who are tense and rigid due to staying long on board.

Here everyone has his own job. No one is jack of all trades. On ships one has to be able to do everything from operations to maintenance, from administration to accounts.

Sore job is not that easy either. My routines are tough. I work long hours, it is normal so far as the private employment is concerned. But the people are different; they are more descent, not all but most of them. They take their jobs easy - unlike ships where lots more deadlines need to be met and fast actions are required. It is not an 8-5 job, where one goes to an office sits on a table and gets up in the afternoon to go home

True that things were not that easy as I expected when I decided to jump at the first offer of quitting sea I got my hands on.

True that I lost money in the hands of crooks on shore.

True that I worked on less salary than sea.

True that I have to use public transport until I pass driving test in a new country where my fifteen year old driving license is not accepted.

Here I am among variety of people with different personalities, different fields of action, different qualifications, different academic backgrounds, and different attitudes. Variety what ever form it may be in brings amended thinking and eradicates staleness.

I am enjoying all the changes like a person coming from a far planet!

I can think more; my view has expanded more than the arc of visibility of a ships mast head light and never stops at 22.5 degrees abaft the beam on either side. It has no restriction of visibility range either :)

I do like to look at sea now as well, but in a different way - with a different eye. Lot of people are enjoying on the beach on the weekend, after a weeks work. If they worked hard a week they have a day to relax and nourish there soles and bodies.

When I reach back in my flat, there is no worry of tanks being pressurized or bad weather expected or some thing may go wrong. My telephone never rings during my sleep every hour to tell me that the discharge rate has fallen and a person from shore from an unknown agency is insisting to see me and on meeting he is only there to get some cigarettes plus some coffee and jam. The time does not change, night does not transform into day with the changes in longitude and the high latitude weathers are story of the past.

Many years have passed in dry-dock I was standing on deck with the duty A.B. when the ship chandler’s brother, a young boy in late teens, approached us and started talking about life at sea and onboard ships. The chap was on holidays and had come to visit the ship. After hearing about our contracts, leave duration and the scale of our salaries - he liked the income part of the information. Seeing his interest I asked him if he would like to join sea.

"You stay away from your home for so long and you are confined to the ship all the time, you are selling your lives for money, I want to live a free life - a normal life!!!” was his straight reply.